Anna is Coming Home - May 15, 2011

JR, the kids, and I arrived at the hospital at 9am Saturday morning. We knew that it would take a few hours before Anna would be discharged.  A photographer came into Anna's room to take some pictures while we waited.  The photographer took a beautiful picture of Anna smiling and wearing a big pink headband and a diaper.  Hopefully, I will be able to post that picture in a few days.

After the pictures were taken, the doctors and nurses came into Anna's room for her final rounding session. The conversation was upbeat and happy. We talked about Anna's progress and how there were times when they thought Anna would never come out of the hospital. One of the nurses told us that Anna was a miracle. The Attending Physician discharged Anna over the computer and Nurse Michelle told us that we needed to hook Anna up to her home monitors because it was time to go. Everyone congratulated us and then left the room. 

When the door to Anna's room closed, there was silence.  JR and I looked at each other because we had never hooked her up to the monitors before.  I suppose it would have helped if JR and I read the monitor manual before we came to the hospital.  I looked at JR and said, "Did you bring the monitor handbook?"  He looked at me and said, "No, I thought you did."  Great. Now what do we do.  What if the hospital won't let us go home because we don't know how to work the monitors.  I heard JR mumbling, "No doctor, we can't leave yet.  Dumb and Dumber can't figure out how to work the monitors." I laughed.  It took us awhile, but JR and I fumbled through it somehow.  We managed to figure out how to turn the machines on and we placed the sensors in the right places without alarms going off.  Whew.

It was time to say our final goodbyes.  We had been saying goodbye to the nursing staff and doctors for the past few days. Many of the hospital staff asked in disbelief, "Is Anna really leaving?" It was hard not to get a little teary eyed.  After all, they were part of our family for the past several months.  Anna is with us because of the loving care that she received from them.  JR and I cannot thank them enough.

Before we left Airplane, we said our final goodbye to Nurse Michelle.  Anna will miss Nurse Michelle the most.  She was a second mommy to Anna. 

It was surreal to finally take the "proud parent walk" down the hallway and out of the NICU with Anna. However,  the walk was not as smooth as I had pictured it. We basically formed a conga line and were connected by wires.  A nurse was at the front of the line holding Anna in her baby carrier,  I was walking behind the nurse carrying the oxygen tank, JR was walking behind me carrying the pulse oximeter and apnea monitor, and Kara and Shawn were behind JR carrying the rest of the bags.  We shuffled through the hall, down the elevator, and to the minivan.

We loaded into the minivan carefully making sure that we did not disconnect any of the wires.  Once we were settled in, we drove out of the parking ramp and into the rain. We left the place that we had called our second home for the past several months.  I looked at the hospital as we drove away.  This was the only time I was happy to see the OSF Saint Francis Medical Center sign in my rear view mirror.

The ride back home was quiet.  It must have been registering in our minds that we were coming home with a newborn with special needs.  We haven't had a baby in the house for nearly ten years.....Goodbye sleep.  It's amazing to think back on our experience.  My thoughts were on overload. Finally, she was coming home.

On February 5, 2011, Anna flew in to the Peoria NICU by helicopter weighing 1 lb and 7.5oz and she was clinging to life.  Exactly 100 days later on May 15, 2011, Anna left the NICU by minivan weighing 5 lbs 4oz and she was happy and content. 

Surgery - May 6, 2011

JR and I put a stop to the Iowa hospital transfer because we were pretty sure that Anna was going to come home this week. We made plans to take time off work and we made arrangements for her homecoming.  Anna was at 95% with her feedings and she passed her car seat test (she had to sit in her car seat for 1 1/2 hours without setting off her alarms). 

Anna was so close to coming home, but our plans changed suddenly. 

Earlier this week, one of the nurses noticed a bulge in the side of Anna's groin.  An ultrasound was taken and they found that Anna had a hernia and one of her ovaries was in a place that it should not be.  Her surgery was scheduled for this morning at 11am. 

JR and I both took the day off and drove to Peoria.  Kara and Shawn went to school and then were going camping with relatives for most of the weekend.  They would be coming back Sunday for Mother's Day.

When JR and I arrived in Airplane, the nurse yelled, "The parents are here! Anna's surgery was moved up, but I told the surgeons that we could not bring Anna down to the operating room until you guys arrived.  While we get her mobile incubator ready, why don't you hold her for a while before we walk down to pre-op."  I looked at Anna.  She was bundled up like a little burrito and had an IV in her head.  She was sucking on her pacifier furiously.  I took Anna out and held and kissed her until it was time to leave the comfort of her NICU room. 

They placed Anna in a small incubator and we took the elevator down to pre-op.  We walked into a hallway and I immediately noticed all of the child themed pictures on the wall and toys scattered in the hallway.  This is where children wait for their turn in surgery. I felt a little sick. We were placed in a private room until the surgeons were ready for us. Anna's last feeding was late Thursday night and she was hungry and mad. I took her out of the incubator and rocked her so that she remained calm. 

As I was rocking Anna, I heard a loud noise coming towards our room.  A little boy, about 4 years old, was riding a motorized toy car.  He was in matching blue shorts and top (hospital garb) and stopped in front of our doorway.  He looked at JR and I and said, "Hi!" Then he looked at Anna and said, "Baby!"  He was so cute and energetic.  I wondered how this little boy who looked so healthy could be getting ready for surgery.  Within seconds, the little boy's dad herded him away from our doorway. 

I was still looking out the door when I noticed a little girl, about 8 years old, walking by in her matching yellow pants and top.  She was wearing a surgical cap and it didn't look as if she had any hair.  She was fidgeting with a stuffed bunny. Her mom was walking next to her and I could hear her mom talking.  I could tell that her mom was trying to be optimistic and cheery to make her daughter feel better. The little girl looked over her shoulder as she passed by and smiled at Anna.  

After one hour of waiting in pre-op, the anesthesiologist walked into the room.  We had never met her before.  She said, "Are you the adoptive parents? We hear that you are in love with this little girl."  JR and I looked up and said, "Yes" in unison.

A few moments later, the surgeon walked into the room and said that they were ready to take her to the OR.  JR and I kissed Anna on her forehead and we put her back in her mobile incubator.  We followed Anna's incubator out the door and went into the waiting room. 

JR and I had never experienced a hospital waiting room quite like this before.  It was almost as if we were waiting for a table at a restaurant on a busy Friday night.  We went up to the desk, gave them our name, and we were handed a round buzzer that was supposed to light up when the surgeon was ready to talk to us after the surgery was complete.  The clerk behind the desk pointed to the large TV screens in the room.  I looked around and noticed that people were clustered around each one.  The screens had numbers highlighted in various colors. Each number stood for a person and the color stood for the status of the surgery (similar to a flight status in an airport). The clerk handed us a guide that described what each color meant:

Pink =  Waiting room

Yellow = Before surgery /procedure

Green = Operating room

Blue  = Recovery room

Purple = 2nd stage recovery room.

JR and I took a seat near a screen and searched for Anna's number, 87523.  I found her number on the screen and noticed that it was highlighted in yellow.  They must be prepping her for surgery.  I looked up again a few minutes later.  Still prepping.  To keep myself from becoming obsessed with the screen, I decided to do some work and eat the gummy bears that JR brought me from the snack bar upstairs. In between sending work emails and stuffing gummy bears in my mouth, I would look up at the screen to check her status.  Still prepping.  When I looked down for what must have been the seventh time, JR said, "She's in surgery now".  I looked up to confirm the Green status - 87523 and then waited. 

Waiting while your baby is in surgery is awful. All sorts of things crossed my mind.  I went from thinking the absolute worst to coming to my senses and realizing that she was in good hands and that the surgery was considered routine.  What worried me most was her breathing and that she was placed back on to the ventilator. We just got rid of that thing and now here it is again.  I worried that she would not be able to come off of the ventilator and that she would be back to square one again.

The surgery did not last as long as expected.  The surgeon found JR and I in the waiting room and said, "The surgery went well.  She had a hernia in both sides of her groin and her ovary was not in the right spot."  He told us that everything had been fixed and that they did not have any concerns. What a relief.

JR and I walked back up to the NICU and waited for Anna to arrive. I stood in Anna's doorway and watched her come into Airplane with a team of people.  There were about five people scurrying around to get her settled in.  Anna was still out from the anesthesia.  She looked ghostly pale and it was a little frightening. We were told that this was normal and that she would regain her color when she begins to wake up. We were also told that it could be a day or two before she is taken off of the ventilator.

As JR and I waited out in the hallway while Anna was being settled in, one of Anna's neonatologist from a month ago (neonatologists rotate every month) came up to us and said that she saw Anna being prepped for surgery earlier in the day and became concerned.  She had to find out what was going on and did some research to make sure that she was okay.  She told us that she does not normally do that, but Anna was special to her. 

It has now been seven hours since her surgery and she is doing well and resting peacefully for the most part.  Every now and then she will wake up and cry and try to pull at her ventilator tube.  Today, I noticed that for the first time, Anna has tears.  I know how she feels.  I want that thing out just as much as she does.

All JR and I can do now is wait and try and comfort her. Maybe she will be off of the ventilator tomorrow and begin eating again.  Maybe JR and I can plan for her to come home next week.....maybe.