Anna was so close to coming home, but our plans changed suddenly.
Earlier this week, one of the nurses noticed a bulge in the side of Anna's groin. An ultrasound was taken and they found that Anna had a hernia and one of her ovaries was in a place that it should not be. Her surgery was scheduled for this morning at 11am.
JR and I both took the day off and drove to Peoria. Kara and Shawn went to school and then were going camping with relatives for most of the weekend. They would be coming back Sunday for Mother's Day.
When JR and I arrived in Airplane, the nurse yelled, "The parents are here! Anna's surgery was moved up, but I told the surgeons that we could not bring Anna down to the operating room until you guys arrived. While we get her mobile incubator ready, why don't you hold her for a while before we walk down to pre-op." I looked at Anna. She was bundled up like a little burrito and had an IV in her head. She was sucking on her pacifier furiously. I took Anna out and held and kissed her until it was time to leave the comfort of her NICU room.
They placed Anna in a small incubator and we took the elevator down to pre-op. We walked into a hallway and I immediately noticed all of the child themed pictures on the wall and toys scattered in the hallway. This is where children wait for their turn in surgery. I felt a little sick. We were placed in a private room until the surgeons were ready for us. Anna's last feeding was late Thursday night and she was hungry and mad. I took her out of the incubator and rocked her so that she remained calm.
As I was rocking Anna, I heard a loud noise coming towards our room. A little boy, about 4 years old, was riding a motorized toy car. He was in matching blue shorts and top (hospital garb) and stopped in front of our doorway. He looked at JR and I and said, "Hi!" Then he looked at Anna and said, "Baby!" He was so cute and energetic. I wondered how this little boy who looked so healthy could be getting ready for surgery. Within seconds, the little boy's dad herded him away from our doorway.
I was still looking out the door when I noticed a little girl, about 8 years old, walking by in her matching yellow pants and top. She was wearing a surgical cap and it didn't look as if she had any hair. She was fidgeting with a stuffed bunny. Her mom was walking next to her and I could hear her mom talking. I could tell that her mom was trying to be optimistic and cheery to make her daughter feel better. The little girl looked over her shoulder as she passed by and smiled at Anna.
After one hour of waiting in pre-op, the anesthesiologist walked into the room. We had never met her before. She said, "Are you the adoptive parents? We hear that you are in love with this little girl." JR and I looked up and said, "Yes" in unison.
A few moments later, the surgeon walked into the room and said that they were ready to take her to the OR. JR and I kissed Anna on her forehead and we put her back in her mobile incubator. We followed Anna's incubator out the door and went into the waiting room.
JR and I had never experienced a hospital waiting room quite like this before. It was almost as if we were waiting for a table at a restaurant on a busy Friday night. We went up to the desk, gave them our name, and we were handed a round buzzer that was supposed to light up when the surgeon was ready to talk to us after the surgery was complete. The clerk behind the desk pointed to the large TV screens in the room. I looked around and noticed that people were clustered around each one. The screens had numbers highlighted in various colors. Each number stood for a person and the color stood for the status of the surgery (similar to a flight status in an airport). The clerk handed us a guide that described what each color meant:
Pink = Waiting room
Yellow = Before surgery /procedure
Green = Operating room
Blue = Recovery room
Purple = 2nd stage recovery room.
JR and I took a seat near a screen and searched for Anna's number, 87523. I found her number on the screen and noticed that it was highlighted in yellow. They must be prepping her for surgery. I looked up again a few minutes later. Still prepping. To keep myself from becoming obsessed with the screen, I decided to do some work and eat the gummy bears that JR brought me from the snack bar upstairs. In between sending work emails and stuffing gummy bears in my mouth, I would look up at the screen to check her status. Still prepping. When I looked down for what must have been the seventh time, JR said, "She's in surgery now". I looked up to confirm the Green status - 87523 and then waited.
Waiting while your baby is in surgery is awful. All sorts of things crossed my mind. I went from thinking the absolute worst to coming to my senses and realizing that she was in good hands and that the surgery was considered routine. What worried me most was her breathing and that she was placed back on to the ventilator. We just got rid of that thing and now here it is again. I worried that she would not be able to come off of the ventilator and that she would be back to square one again.
The surgery did not last as long as expected. The surgeon found JR and I in the waiting room and said, "The surgery went well. She had a hernia in both sides of her groin and her ovary was not in the right spot." He told us that everything had been fixed and that they did not have any concerns. What a relief.
JR and I walked back up to the NICU and waited for Anna to arrive. I stood in Anna's doorway and watched her come into Airplane with a team of people. There were about five people scurrying around to get her settled in. Anna was still out from the anesthesia. She looked ghostly pale and it was a little frightening. We were told that this was normal and that she would regain her color when she begins to wake up. We were also told that it could be a day or two before she is taken off of the ventilator.
As JR and I waited out in the hallway while Anna was being settled in, one of Anna's neonatologist from a month ago (neonatologists rotate every month) came up to us and said that she saw Anna being prepped for surgery earlier in the day and became concerned. She had to find out what was going on and did some research to make sure that she was okay. She told us that she does not normally do that, but Anna was special to her.
It has now been seven hours since her surgery and she is doing well and resting peacefully for the most part. Every now and then she will wake up and cry and try to pull at her ventilator tube. Today, I noticed that for the first time, Anna has tears. I know how she feels. I want that thing out just as much as she does.
All JR and I can do now is wait and try and comfort her. Maybe she will be off of the ventilator tomorrow and begin eating again. Maybe JR and I can plan for her to come home next week.....maybe.
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