We had our last home visit with the adoption agency last Thursday. During the meeting, our adoption portfolio (scrapbook) was returned to us. We had not seen our portfolio since the day we handed it to our social worker. The day we handed it to her, I remember asking if our portfolio was attractive enough, if we had enough pictures of our family, and if we had written enough information. Since there would be other portfolios for a birth mother to choose from, I was worried that ours would be tossed aside. Little did I know that our portfolio was just right.
Time goes by so fast. It has been eight months since we first saw Anna and nearly five months since Anna came home. I remember when we first saw Anna in the hospital. We were so happy, taking pictures with our cell phones and texting our family members. That first night, I honestly thought that she was going to be home in a matter of weeks. I was so naive.
Anna was in the hospital from birth for nearly 4 months. When Anna was strong enough to come home, she came home with two monitors, oxygen, and a handful of medications. The first several weeks were filled with loud monitor beeps, endless phone calls with doctors and nurses, many medical appointments and sleepless nights. Now that I think about it....not much has changed since that time!
When we brought Anna home, we thought that she would have been weaned off of her oxygen and that she would be eating like a "normal" baby towards the end of the year. Instead, her oxygen levels have gotten worse and it is a struggle to feed her everyday. She is nearly 9 months old/5 months adjusted and she only weighs 11 lbs.
During the month of August, Anna spent one week in the Iowa City Children's hospital because she was not eating well or gaining weight. Every test was conducted and all tests came back negative. Every doctor had an opinion, but no one had the answer. JR and I left the hospital after that week frustrated with only a feeding tube to help Anna grow.
After two months with little progress, it was decided that Anna would need to have open heart surgery. This surgery will prevent the blood from pumping through the hole in her heart and into her lungs. At first the surgery was going to be scheduled within several months, then it was decided that Anna would not be able to wait any longer and the surgery was scheduled for November 2nd, a little more than one week away.
The thought of doctors performing surgery on one of the major organs necessary to keep her alive scares me. I have to keep reminding myself that it will help her come off the oxygen more quickly and will also help her eating issues. Anna will be in recovery for 4-6 weeks after her surgery.
Anna has been our daughter since the day she was born, but on October 27, 2011, JR and I will have the paperwork that will make it official. Originally, our court date for the adoption finalization was set for November 16th, but the judge waved the required 180 day waiting period so that we could officially be a family before Anna's heart surgery.
Besides the obvious cannula and oxygen tank, you would never know that Anna was ill. She is a beautiful little baby. She is generally happy, but has her grouchy moments. Anna is smart and pays attention to her surroundings. She giggles and babbles every now and then. My favorite Anna moment is when she is sitting on my lap in the rocking chair and looks up at me as if to make sure that I am still there. When she realizes that I am, she smiles.
Most strangers that see Anna assume that she is a newborn, but others see Anna's cannula and know immediately that she is a preemie. JR and I have told Anna's story many times. You would think that we would get tired of telling the same story over and over, but we don't. It's amazing how many people have a preemie story to share. JR and I have had so many great conversations with people we never would have spoken to if is wasn't for Anna.
Anna has made JR and I better parents. She has made us better people. I have learned to be more patient and I have learned to open my heart and mind.
