Kangarooing

On Thursday, March 3, 2011,  it was JR's turn to visit Anna.  In the afternoon, JR called me at work from the hospital and told me that he was kangarooing.  I laughed and asked him what that meant.  He told me that the only way that we could hold Anna was by holding her against our bare chest.  She needed skin to skin contact and we could only hold her for a couple of hours. 

This special way of holding a baby is to help improve her health and development and provide a special bonding experience.  Kangaroo care supposedly originated in Columbia. Due to lack of power and reliable equipment, Kangaroo Care was found to be an inexpensive and very beneficial experience for pre-term babies.  Studies showed pre-term baby survival rates increased by 40%. 

I have to admit, I was a bit jealous to find out that JR was holding Anna.  I had assumed that Anna was too little and too sick to be held.  Not only that, she had wires and tubes sticking out of nearly every part of her.  I couldn't understand how we could hold her if there was a chance of us accidentally pulling something out!  The thought of this scared me. 

JR reassured me that everything was fine and that Nurse Michelle and Fred, the Respiratory Therapist, were there to help move the tubes and wires.  JR texted several pictures of him and Anna kangarooing.  Now all I could think about was my upcoming weekend visit and my chance to kangaroo. 

That weekend, like usual, I rushed to Anna's room after I scrubbed in.  I found nurse Michelle and immediately asked her if I could kangaroo.  She said that I could after I waited 30 minutes for Anna's food to digest.  I waited patiently (sort of) for 30 minutes.  While I waited, I talked to Michele about kangarooing and expressed my fears.  Michelle reassured me and said that Anna had been ready to kangaroo for a while and that I had nothing to worry about.  She told me that she had felt sorry for Anna because she didn't have anyone to kangaroo with like the other babies in the NICU. 

When the 30 minutes were up, Nurse Michelle brought me a hospital gown and pulled the rocking chair next to Anna's incubator.  Once I had my gown on,  I took a seat in the chair. 

I had never seen Anna outside of her incubator and without her swaddle cushion.  Nurse Michelle and Respiratory Fred unlatched the side of the incubator and quickly unhooked Anna from some of her tubing.  They slowly picked Anna and the rest of her tubes and wires up and placed her on my chest.  I knew she was tiny, but to see her out of the incubator and away from everything else that normally surrounded her put her size into perspective. Michelle and Fred worked quickly to hook Anna back up to some of the tubing.  They watched her stats for a few minutes to make sure that she was stable before they left me and Anna alone. 

I was finally holding my little girl.  I could feel her warm little body and her lungs mechanically moving. When I looked down at her, I saw that she was looking up at me.  Her little forehead was wrinkled and her eyes were straining to see who was holding her. I realized that this was her second time being held and she was now over one month old.  I remember looking down at her and thinking, How could this sweet baby girl, at no fault of her own, go so long without being held.  I am here now, Anna.  No one needs to feel sorry for you any longer. Your mommy and daddy are going to hold on to you for the rest of your life.